Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez had fans talking after they exchanged a few words on Instagram last week, and this week, it looks as though the pair is back at it again. On Thursday, Gomez, 23, posted a throwback photo of herself sitting at a piano bench wearing nothing but a pair of colorful, bikini bottoms and a matching, ruffled top. Bieber “liked” the post, just as she had “liked” his throwback post of the pair kissing just last week.

The Instagram exchange comes the day after Gomez was spotted at her Bieber’s concert at Los Angeles’ Staples Centre. Fans spotted her in the sound-mixing area during Bieber’s Purpose World Tour and  caught photos on their phones.

Three years and 4 1/2 months after now 22-year-old Justin and 23-year-old Selena broke up for the first time, tracing the ups and downs of their roller-coaster romance, breakup, reconciliation, breakup, friendship, social media trickery, song lyrics and public commentary remains a valid pastime. And despite myriad evidence that this will prove to be a fruitless pursuit in the end, practically no one on earth has given up on the idea that Bieber and Gomez belong together.

Dating and relationships may be different in 2016 than it was in 1945, but human nature hasn’t changed all that much. Plus the Internet is there to ensure that a memory—or a photo, a video, a tweet, a brilliant comment, a dumb comment, etc.—does last forever, whether it’s one you want to remember or not.

Moreover, perhaps Jelena’s youth actually makes no difference as to how iconic they’re destined to be. Lauren Bacall was 19 when she met Humphrey Bogart on the set of The Big Sleep and, boom, branded for life. Your first love is magical and often pretty dramatic, and it’s the relationship by which you judge most that come after. And it’s the one you miss the most when it’s gone. Think of Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams–first The Notebook, then real life–and Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas. Romantic and intense! And rollercoaster. Both couples broke up and got back together quite a few times, and now we know why.

If you want an ex back, even after a long time, you’re in good company. A new study says that one in five of us want to reunite with a former flame–and nearly one in four guys want an ex back, too–and they specifically want their first love back. And a lot of people are doing something about it.

About 14 percent of people who want an ex back actually make contact with their first love in an effort to win them over. Here’s what’s interesting: Even if they do want an ex back, women and girls are less likely to actually make the first move to do it. Though four in ten who do, want to seduce the guy.

Of course, Facebook makes it easier to connect with your first love (or your second, third, fourth…), and a lot of us put it to use. In fact, 74 percent of us use FB to link up with (or at least lurk) our exes. Dudes, however, are more likely to use email or texting than social networking to check in on a former love. Why? One expert explains, “Men are more likely to fall into this bracket because they are less monogamous and they have lower emotional intelligence than women.” Basically, dudes are a little dumber and a bit more likely to stray. Great!

The good news amid all of these numbers? If you want an ex back, there’s about 25 percent chance that he wants you back, too–those are pretty good odds! The bad news? Reuniting with your first love usually doesn’t work out the way we hope it will.

Psychologists say that we have a habit as human beings to rewrite and romanticize history in terms of our first love. As in, we remember the time he brought us flowers when we were sick and conveniently forget that time he grabbed our cousin’s butt on Thanksgiving. One expert put it this way: “These people, particularly men, who pine after their first love are probably doing so because they’re unhappy about something in their current relationship but are afraid to confront it. It is escapism and avoidance and it’s not healthy.” That means when we’re lonely or unsatisfied in a relationship, we tend to look back at our first love and reminisce instead of dealing with whatever our current issue is. Yikes!

So if you want an ex back, make sure that’s really what you want–and that you’re not just scared of flying solo or lying to yourself about how perfect you guys used to be together. Because chances are if a relationship ends, it ends for a reason.

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