Relationships are hard work. That’s what they always tell us, right? But they never tell you what “work” is, and how much is reasonable before it’s just a bad relationship. )Seems like a pretty important piece of information to leave out.)

When your relationship hits a rough patch, it makes you wonder if this is one of those moments you’re supposed to “work” through, or a sign that it was never going to work in the first place.

When happy couples look back through the history of their relationship, there are inevitably obstacles along the way that could have ended them. Basically: How do you tell the difference between an obstacle and a red flag?

It’s actually pretty easy, even if it isn’t all that obvious: Just listen to your heart.

I know, I know. You’re saying, “You just replaced one vague platitude with another!” The difference is, I’m going to explain mine.

The difference between an obstacle and a red flag is whether you feel that person is worth whatever struggle you’re going through. And your heart will tell you in an instant.

The moment you have to “will” your way through a relationship challenge is the moment you should begin examining if you really want to be in that relationship. That’s because when you have someone who’s truly worth it, whether or not you’re going to fight through that struggle is never truly in question.

It might suck for awhile, but you never doubt that it’s worth it. You don’t have to force it. In other words, your brain doesn’t have to convince your heart.

Now reverse the hypothetical situation. You really want to fight for your relationship, but your head is telling you it’s not the smart thing to do. Maybe it goes against relationship advice you’ve read or your friends are telling you to cut and run.

The truth is, the heart wants what it wants, and it doesn’t always make logical sense.

So if you find yourself in this situation in the future, unsure if a relationship challenge is a temporary obstacle or a sign you should break it off, just ask yourself one question: Is it my head or my heart that isn’t in it?

Let your heart lead the way.

[via Your Tango]