Surprisingly, it’s not jewelry, roses, or chocolates. We know why these last minute gifts look appealing; they’re easy and traditionally romantic, right? Wrong. She knows you picked these up on your lunch break when someone in the office reminded you that Valentine’s Day was in fact today and you had forgotten once again.

We also know that she likely told you “no gifts this year”. She always says no gifts. But you know as well as we do that no gifts never, ever, means “no gifts”. And let’s be real, she has definitely gotten you something. Something really thoughtful and generous, and you’re going to look like a complete ass when you get home with service station flowers.

Luckily, we have the answer to all your problems – the secret to making women feel loved (and it’s essentially free):

Plan

Women are sick of planning. Every woman has taken care of planning something for you because you neglected to do so, or left it to the last minute. You have probably never even noticed the time she spends planning to make sure your lives runs smoothly, but trust us, she’s doing it.

So this Valentine’s Day, give her a break and plan something she would like. If you’re not sure what that something could be, dinner is always a safe bet. Take her to a restaurant she has been wanting to try, or cook her favorite meal. It really doesn’t matter, as long as you are taking care of everything yourself.

Keep every aspect of your night in mind. Are you going to get an Uber or drive? Is there somewhere nearby to get drinks after dinner? What are you going to watch on Netflix when you get home? Think of everything. Trust us, you have no idea how relieved she will be to not have to prepare anything. And to have someone who wants to take of everything for her.